Meet the Proudest Kuya
Dear Jerry’s Spawns,
Giving up my dream of becoming an engineer is not that easy. It will took up 5 years if I did pursue it. The reason for it is that I need to shift to a course with lesser units for me to graduate as soon as possible, hence I landed to Arts and Sciences department and took up Psychology. I never told mom the real reason behind it, I just told her “hindi ko kaya” eventhough she already knew it it’s a lie since most of my subjects are between 1.25-2.0 marks. Masakit sa loob, but I have no choice since I need to work right away for you and brother to go to college.
Growing up without a father is tough. It’s sad knowing that we are all struggling to live a normal life but we already know that its far from happening. I hope what I did after all these years is enough to fill the hole our dear father left us, I became a father for you guys at the age of 16. Though I’m not that perfect as a role model, but God knows the effort I put to save our family. If only Kuya was brave enough to fight for us and never went on his own way, if only. There’s a lot of thing I wished to happen but never did, and there are also things I hope never happened and unfortunately….they did. But never in my life I regret those things, because I will never be in my current situation if God altered the events in the past. In fact, I’m still thankful.
Sometimes, I think that God is not fair when thinking about the past. He always put me on a situation which I don’t have a choice but to sacrifice what I have. When I have nothing, He will ask me to give up myself but knowing He has a good plan for me. Much better as what I have already planned. And I guess, God will always be right. I played His game well and tight but He will always be the judge.
I did not make this letter to brag about the things I did or to collect the payback for what I gave away. The only thing I want you guys to know is to realize the importance of education and to know its worth. Gone were the days when our clan is just satisfied in tilling fields or breeding pigs. To know the struggle I went through for you to get the dreams you want in life and to treasure the basic philosophy in life our dad left us: Bahala na maghirap basta makapagtapos lang ng pag-aaral. Kahit kailangang gumapang, gagawin ko. Lahat gagapangin ko!Juggling my time between two jobs and schooling, shit. You don’t want to ask how did I manage my time.
I’m counting the days, and I can count it on my fingers already. I can see both of you climbing up the stage to get your diplomas. Dad im sure will be happy knowing that even he’s gone already , still we succeed in giving you both the degrees you deserve as soon to be engineer and a teacher. If I look back on the past, I even wonder how the Fck did I do it? My sacrifices really paid well.
On the 30th, there will be two persons on the side of the auditorium who will be in totally bliss seeing you in togas. Our Mom…..and syempre, Me who will always be the proudest Kuya in the whole wide world.
Yeah, coz im the gayest when it comes to my bro and sis. ha ha ha
Nay, total tapos na yung dalawa, pwede ko na bang ibigay virginity ko? Virginity anyone? None? sad. 😦